ETHER DIARIES

controlled breaths | uncontrolled thoughts

Across the River, Eros

Published by

Mark Andrew Cruz

on

When I was younger and still believed in love, I went through a failed love affair so dramatic, I half expected Zeus to intervene. I didn’t write to win anyone back. I wrote to figure out what the hell had just happened. And because apparently, when I’m heartbroken, I speak in iambic pentameter and accuse people of being demons from Hades. 
It’s not about closure. It’s about catharsis. 
It’s about what happens when you fall in love with someone who feels divine—
and then realize they were just passing through your myth. This poem will resonate with those na nilandi at pinaasa.

Across the River, Eros

Who are you, oh fallen Olympian?

Are you a poet, a musician… or a thespian?

For from your lips, nothing spills but song:

Serenades of love, sonnets where I belong.

Your arrows struck, this heart undone,

My soul now weak, beneath your sun,

This lifeless world revived by your beauty,

Captured by your grace, oh tempting deity!

But as I seek the warmth of your caress,

You have flown away, left me breathless

,Across the River Styx, I saw your shadows,

Slowly fading, as I chase you in the shallows.

Where are you, oh radiant creature?

Why cross over, and leave your stature?

Or are you no god, but Hades’ kin—

a demon cloaked in love, luring me in?

Leave a comment

Hello,

I’m Macoy Cruz

I’m an obstetric anesthesiologist by training, and honestly, a satirist because it’s the only way to stay sane. Most days I’m tucked behind the drapes, dealing with misbehaving vitals, badly timed alarms, and patients who may or may not be fully committed to consciousness.

I was clinically diagnosed with depression in 2018, and it has been relapsing ever since. I look fine most of the time. I function. I teach. I work. Then the heaviness shows up again, stays for a while, and eventually lets go. It comes and goes in cycles, and I have learned to move with it even when it feels like it is pulling me under.

This blog has become part of how I cope. Writing helps me steady myself when the quiet depression returns. It gives me a place to breathe and make sense of the days when I feel like I am slipping beneath the surface.

So this space is my cool down zone. Part storytime, part rant, part emotional first aid kit. Expect thoughts on medicine, life, and the strange challenge of staying awake in a system that seems built to knock everyone out, figuratively and literally.

Let’s connect

Recent posts